Man In The Box
by Rian Sage
Summary: A mysterious box falls into the hands of a former Dark Lord. How will she use it to be free?


Disclaimer: George Lucas owns the GFFA. Bioware owns the characters here. I just tell stories for free.

This was supposed to be my submission for the Humor challenge. So here it is...three weeks late. Thanks to Alexandra3 for the wonderful beta.

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**Man In The Box**

The _Ebon Hawk_ glided through hyperspace en route to Manaan. The atmosphere onboard was unusually quiet. However, given the events of the past week, it was understandable. Sure Korriban had been a challenging planet to be on, but nothing had prepared them for what awaited them on the Leviathan. In a few hours time, what everyone had thought to be the truth had turned into a lie. In the end, a betrayal had been unmasked, and they had lost one of their own.

After their escape from the Sith vessel, the crew made a quick stop on Tatooine to tie up some loose ends. Canderous had a challenge he had to attend to. Of course, Revan, as she now knew herself to be, had to accompany him. She had decided the entire exchange between the two Mandalorian warriors was senseless. The Mandalorians were a race of people that were dwindling more and more every day, and one of them chose to end his own life for dishonoring Canderous. Revan had scoffed at that, _No wonder they're dying out_.

Nevertheless, she tried to be supportive to the only guy that wasn't afraid of her. Instead the Mandalorian chose not to talk to her anymore…he'd had some sort of life-changing moment and needed time to think about it. _Whatever._

They had also returned to the sand covered planet to deliver a package to Motta the Hutt. However, about the third day into their hyperspace journey, Revan decided to take a closer look at the box. It was of a pyramid shape with odd writings along the sides. She had seen similar writings on the walls of the ancient temple on Dantooine and wondered if they had anything to do with their quest.

She was of the curious sort, so she opened the box, despite the stern warning from the trader that gave it to her. To her surprise, her body had been immediately incapacitated and her consciousness was sucked into the device. Once inside, she realized the true use of the box was a prison of sorts. It held an odd looking man with eyes on the side of his head where human ears would be. She had recognized him as being the same species as the hologram she had encountered on Kashyyyk.

He had apparently done some very bad things and had been in there for many millennia. He, of course, wanted out of his prison, but that would require her to give up her body so that he could take it in her place. Now, things aboard the _Ebon Hawk_ weren't really very pleasurable at the time, but staying in the box didn't seem like the next best option.

After conversing with the alien prisoner, she learned of the workings of the box and was able to free herself by stumping him in a riddle. Though the event gave her a massive headache, she found the experience a wonderful escape. So when the time came to turn the box over to the Hutt, she decided against it.

It took her a few more days to figure out how to rig the box so she could return. It apparently had a failsafe that wouldn't allow any repeat visitors. But once she figured out the proper sequence, she began to use the device as her break from the rest of the crew.

They were still two days out from Manaan. Carth was highly upset about making the trip to Tatooine. Admittedly, Bastila was in dyer need of their assistance, but Revan didn't feel she was quite capable of providing that at the time. It could have been the substantial amount of alcohol she had ingested in the time since the Leviathan incident that made her senses a little…off. Whatever the reason, when Revan, Canderous, and HK as backup wanted to go to Tatooine, well…they went to Tatooine.

Day had dawned somewhere in the galaxy, and most of the crew began to awaken. Revan had found the prospect of speaking to any one of them particularly revolting, so she went to the cargo hold. After her first encounter with the box, she had learned she was better off lying on the floor next to it before tapping in the sequence to enter it. This time, she even brought a pillow.

The box opened up like a flower, just as the star maps had. A ray of light burst out from it and directed straight to her head. Closing her eyes, she braced herself for the initial shock and briefly wondered what effects prolonged use of the device would have. However, given who she was, how relevant was her sanity?

The transition was an odd experience, to say the least. The feeling could only be compared to the jump into hyperspace, though ten times more unsettling. It left her slightly disoriented at first, but once she regained herself, she began the process of opening her eyes. Bright white light filtered through her lashes. The first time she visited, she thought she had been blinded. But she soon realized nothing much existed in the expanse of space other than pure whiteness. There were no walls, no floors, no ceilings. It was just…white space.

Once she was properly adjusted, she proceeded to the only other thing that existed. There were four odd shaped stone pillars, much like the ones on Korriban. The alien without a name stood in the middle of them. Off to the side was a chaise lounge. She approached the alien.

Upon seeing her, his grey skin turned an unusual shade of purple and his round eyes became slits. He scoffed, "You again."

"Ah, come now. Surely you don't mind the company," she said with a sickly sweet smile.

He refused to look at her.

She circled the only seat. "Mind if I use your chaise?"

He huffed in response as she stretched out upon it and relaxed. He sneered, "Why are you here? Have you come to torment me again?"

She rolled her eyes. "No, not this time. You're much too sensitive."

He clenched his fists to his side. "Then why?"

"Look, if it's all the same to you, I get enough of this crap from my crew out there." She waved into the nothingness. "All I want is to come in here and relax. My body is out there. There's no possible way they're able to disturb me. And frankly, I'd appreciate it if you didn't disturb me either."

She closed her eyes and rested her head against his pillow. She chuckled when she heard him mumble.

There was a long silence that she enjoyed. He finally spoke again. "Have you found a way to release me yet?"

She yawned, "No, but I'm working on it."

"How do I know this to be true?" he demanded.

"No talking!"

He growled, but remained silent for a short time longer. She loved to lay there in relative peace. She knew he didn't care who she was. He had tried many times to come up with riddles that would stump her, and she had to admit there had been one close call. But she did promise to find a way to free him. Of course, she didn't forget he apparently had led a disastrous war that nearly destroyed his species. All in all, maybe he and she weren't so different. Therefore, if the opportunity presented itself, she might see fit to find him a way out.

He began to chant a ritual of some sort. She found it annoying. For crying out loud, he had been there for twenty thousand years, couldn't he save it for later? She snapped, "I thought I said no talking?"

He sighed, "Yes, but in my solitude, it matters little whether I speak to myself or out loud. As time has passed, I hardly notice the difference."

She propped her hands behind her head and began to open her eyes again. "We never did come up with a name for you, did we?"

He only looked at her questioningly. He had said he once had a name, but as time had gone on, he'd simply forgotten it. He said, "And you have yet to tell me your name."

She gave him a half smile, "I don't know…I guess it doesn't matter. Hell, it appears to me I can choose any name I'd like. Call me Wicket."

She studied him for a moment. "Why don't you make up a name?"

He seemed to think upon it for a moment. "Dung."

She furrowed her brow. "Dung?"

"Yes, why not?"

She tried to suppress her smirk. "Well, in my native language, it means…" She paused a moment. _Ah what difference does it make?_ "Dung it is." He seemed happy with his new name and didn't notice her amusement.

She sat up. "Well…_Dung_. Thanks for the hospitality. Do we need to go through the whole riddle thing again or are you just going to let me out of here?"

He groaned, "Just go."

Revan continued with frequent visits to Dung's domain. The crew hated when she did it. She would sometimes lie there for hours and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She had warned them of a mysterious spell that would fall upon them if they touched it. Judging by her behavior, they all assumed she had already fallen under said spell.

Dung had come to accept her presence. Sometimes they would talk about the events that led to his imprisonment. He had spoken of the Star Forge on one occasion. For that reason, her time in the box had an added benefit. Although, after twenty thousand years, his knowledge of star charts was extremely outdated. Therefore, he was of no help in determining the Star Forge's location. She was at least able to confirm that it was a manufacturing facility of some sort.

Her visits with Dung came to an abrupt end when she first stepped on the Rakatan planet. She was immediately confronted with five warriors…all looking exactly like Dung. The warriors were easily defeated, especially since she was not unfamiliar with their form. She met two different factions on the planet and couldn't decide who to give Dung to. So she kept him a little longer.

She had thought about going in and telling Dung about finding his species. However, time was of the essence. The Republic Fleet was already on its way and she and the crew spent every waking moment trying to find a way to disengage the disruptor field. If the Fleet were to arrive too soon, it would have the same fate as the _Ebon Hawk_ – crashed on the planets surface. Therefore, Revan decided the entire Dung situation would have to wait until later.

Finally, the moment came. An epiphany maybe...though she wasn't sure. Once onboard the Star Forge, she was unsure of her return to the _Ebon Hawk._ At the time, she had felt a need to take the box with her. She didn't know if it was the Force or the odd attachment she had formed with the device, but she took it nonetheless. The box wasn't big and required little use of the Force to keep it out of her way during the many battles that ensued.

It was after the final battle with Malak when the idea struck. Her time with Dung had certainly not gone to waste. She had used the sessions as a sort of meditation and had concentrated most of her efforts on her memories. The only link to her past she had to go on was that of her apparent friend, Malak.

By the time she reached that final battle, she had recalled quite a bit about the man. So when he lay dying on the Star Forge floor, she wanted to save him. For the light? Of course not. She wanted her friend back.

The box sat at the entrance of the large room and she used the Force to call it to where she and Malak were. She set it down next to Malak. She looked at her one-time friend. "I have a lot of questions that we don't have time for. If you ever trusted me in our lives, trust me now."

Malak looked at her in total disbelief. She ignored the look. "The only thing you have to remember is: he sucks at math. Let him win."

Malak's expression turned to confusion. "What? Who?"

He was interrupted when she used the Force to place his hand upon the device. The device opened with a burst of light that rivaled the explosions seen outside the vast windows of the Star Forge.

Revan thought, _Oops, forgot to tell him to close his eyes_.

She waited several minutes and watched Malak's twitching form on the floor. He was mortally wounded with a burning hole through his mid-section. She briefly thought, _I sure hope he knows Rakatan_.

A few moments later, the box folded back into its original form. Malak's eyes had life back in them, although dim. She leaned over the body; unsure of whom she'd be speaking to. His head jerked towards her with the movement.

"Wicket? Is that you?" he asked. His brow furrowed at the sound of his own voice through the vocabulator.

Relief washed over her. "Yes, Dung. It's me." She used the Force to ease the extreme pain he must have been in.

"You did it, Wicket. You kept your promise."

She winced, unsure of how to tell him his freedom was rather short lived.

His expression grew puzzled. "Why can't I see?"

She shrugged. "You've been in white space for who knows how long. It may take some time to get adjusted."

He closed his eyes. "This place…the sound… There's a battle." His eyes opened wide in wonder. It wasn't quite the look she expected. He continued, "I've been here before." His voice began to rise. "Wicket, are we on the Star Forge?"

She answered cautiously, "Yes, Dung. We are."

The look in his eyes shifted to something she'd never seen in him before. She could feel the excitement grow in him. "The Star Forge," he said reverently. "I'm home."

_Home?_

She continued to monitor his emotions and detected the strong darkness that began to emerge. He said, "Once again, I have the galaxy within my grasp! I can crush worlds everywhere and make them my slaves! I will once again be victorious!"

_I guess he didn't learn much in the past twenty thousand years_. "Yeah, about that…there's something I need to tell you. You may not have noticed that you can't move at the moment." She paused and sensed his gradual awareness of the situation. "That would be because you have a gaping hole in you that was created by my lightsaber."

He was silent for a moment as he processed everything she told him. Then he said, "So you betrayed the man you sent to free me?"

"No, Dung…I betrayed you. You see, I'll find someone else to betray in order to get Malak back out," she explained.

Silence. His eyes began to gain some of their focus. They drifted over to lock his gaze upon her. "Thank you for keeping your promise, Wicket. As I've told you before…you are very clever."

She smiled. "Thanks Dung. However, I really can't stay." She crawled around to gather her things along with Malak's lightsaber. She bent over Dung and kissed his forehead. "Goodbye."

She stood and collected the box and headed for the lift.

It took some time before she was able to complete her plans. There had been various victory celebrations she was forced to attend. She had thought about entering the box to visit Malak, but she wasn't completely sure she could trust him to let her out. So, she left him in there until she came up with a suitable plan. She figured it served him right for betraying her in the first place.

Once the celebrations died down and people weren't constantly checking up on her, she left Coruscant. She made a couple of stops along the way and eventually dumped the droids, Canderous, and the _Ebon Hawk_. She picked up another, less conspicuous ship and headed for Tatooine.

During her previous visits, she had come to know a hunter there by the name of Tanis Venn. He certainly wasn't a bad looking guy, but he ranked along the lines of core-slime as far as men were concerned. In fact, the last time she saw him, she had rescued him from a deadly trap set by his scorned wife.

She left the box on the ship and made her way to the Hunting Lodge. She wasn't disappointed, for when she arrived, he was there. She had been sure to wear her tightest clothing to accentuate her curves. She wore her red hair down to cascade down her back and had pulled some of it in front of her shoulder. His weren't the only eyes that landed on her when she walked through the doorway.

She locked her gaze with his and added an extra sway to her hips as she sauntered over to him. She smirked as she registered the other whistles in the background. She stopped in front of him and his eyes flashed with desire.

"Hey baby…I see you've come back to get in on some of my fine Tanis lovin'," he drawled.

She smiled seductively and nodded as she ran a finger down his hard chest. _Perfect_.

They quickly left the lodge and made their way back to her ship, _The Shifter_. It had taken every bit of control she had not to Force choke him every time he grabbed her behind on the way.

Once on board the ship, she led him to the common room. The ship was small and carried four comfortably. Therefore, the common room wasn't very large. As soon as they stepped in, he grabbed her in a fierce embrace.

He tried to sound husky when he said, "I knew you wanted me the last time I saw you."

She placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back to keep his mouth at a safe distance. She used her most innocent voice when she said, "I did want to apologize for everything that happened then. I don't know what happened to that droid I was working on. I guess I just crossed the wrong wire."

"You don't have to worry yourself about that, sweet thing. Marlena knew how to make a good trap."

He tried to nip at her again. She held him off. "And about my friend shooting you in the leg – it was totally uncalled for."

He said, "Heh. I guess he didn't like my idea of…gratitude."

She wiggled out of his arms. "It is okay, isn't it? The leg?"

He lifted his pant leg to reveal a well shaped calf free of any scars. She was relieved. She certainly didn't want any damaged goods.

She pointed him to the couch. "You can wait there. I'm going to slip into something a little more…comfortable." She fluttered her eyelashes for dramatic effect.

He objected, "Oh darlin,' I wouldn't bother with that. It won't be on long enough to waste the effort."

She only smiled. "Patience."

He growled.

As she walked by the communications station, she flipped on the surface light to better illuminate the pyramid shaped box that sat in the middle of it. Tanis' eyes were immediately drawn to it. He stepped towards it and marveled at it a moment.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Oh…that? Well, if you recall, I'm somewhat of a treasure hunter. I had heard of a legendary box. It's said whoever could open the box would gain riches beyond their dreams. I searched everywhere and found this on Iridium." She knew she had his attention by the gleam in his eyes as he stared at the device. She sighed mournfully, "Unfortunately, I haven't been able to open it to see if the legend is true or not."

He darted his eyes in her direction quickly and then back to the box. She smiled inwardly. She stood at the opening of the hall towards her quarters. "Oh, you wouldn't mind if I took a quick shower, would you?"

He shifted his eyes to her again, "Uh…no, no. You just take your time."

She smiled before turning towards her quarters. Once inside, she waited by the door and listened carefully. It wasn't long before she saw the white light flash through the hall, followed quickly by a thud.

She emerged from her quarters and walked back to the common area. The hunter's twitching body lay flat on the floor. She grinned wickedly. "Greed is such a powerful ally."

She waited for much longer than when Malak had gone into the box. She imagined it would take a long time to explain the rules to Tanis. The hunter did seem rather dense.

Finally, the box folded back up and the body on the floor came back to life. She kept her distance until she was sure of the results. She reached out with the Force to determine his condition. She smiled when she detected his Force sensitivity.

The man groaned and started to lift himself up as he rubbed the back of his head. He said, "Nobody is going to miss _that_ guy."

Her smile grew, "You got that right." She paused and watched him stretch his new limbs. "How do you feel?"

"Will my sight come back?" he asked.

"It should only take a minute. You might be able to use the Force to speed it along," she suggested.

He closed his eyes and did so. When he opened them again, he smiled at her. She delighted when it wasn't the hunter's smile, but Malak's smile.

His eyes roamed her form approvingly. But he hesitated. "Are we good?"

She smirked. "Well I did leave you in there for a year as punishment."

He nodded. "So where to now?"

She tilted her head in thought. "I think we've overstayed our welcome in this galaxy."

He agreed, but added, "Nobody's going to recognize me." He stood up to better assess his new body. He began to run his hand across his head and stopped as soon as it touched hair. His expression grew sour, unsure of what he thought about it.

She smiled, "You can always shave it off."

He furrowed his brow. "Won't it grow back?"

She shrugged. "It will eventually stop. By the way, if you ever run into a woman by the name of Marlena, you might want to run."

He looked at her questioningly, but nodded. He smiled suggestively. "We could always find a pink Twi'lek for you to switch with"

"And I could always remember that you tried to kill me," she shot back.

He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. He buried his face in her hair and said, "Yes, but now that I have a mouth again, I have better ways to subdue you."

She chuckled and added, "Not until you get a shower. We don't know where that body has been."

"Good point." He let go of her and looked around. "What are you going to do with him," he said, pointing to the box.

"There's a Hutt here that will give us two thousand credits for it," she suggested.

He shrugged. "Sounds good to me. Where's the shower?"

She stood up and led him to her quarters. Before he entered the fresher, he said, "What was that guy's name?"

"Tanis Venn," she replied.

"What name are you using?"

She thought for a moment before deciding. "Eve."

After Malak bathed, they took the box to Motta the Hutt. Revan was able to talk him into an extra thousand credits. They returned to the ship and prepared for departure.

Malak asked, "You don't think anybody will come looking for you?"

She thought for a moment before saying, "Well, maybe one person."

"Who?"

She gave him a sheepish look.

He was shocked. "Are you kidding me? You weren't even gone that long!"

"Hey, you know how boring hyperspace gets," she defended.

He nodded. "Well, what are you going to do about him?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…maybe send him a note or something."

They both agreed that would be the best way to proceed. They sat down to compose a message.

"What will you say?"

She shook her head. "I'm not sure. Any ideas?"

"How about, 'It's not you, it's me?'"

She frowned, "Did that ever work for you?"

He chuckled, "Like I cared."

They sat in thought for a few moments. She typed a few things in the communications console, but then erased them. Finally he said, "How about, 'I can't take anyone I love with me?'"

Her eyes lit up, "Oh, that's a good one…I'm using that."


End file.
